No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize