Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize