come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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