WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
