just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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