just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
