Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize