I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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