Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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