I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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