I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
