i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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