so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
