I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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