There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
