dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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