idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
