It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
