she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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