I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
