i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
