having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
