i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
