this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
