what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
