Only a mothe r could love this liver
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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