yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
