I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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