never play flip cup with pint glasses
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
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