Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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