im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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