Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
