I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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