Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
