we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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