I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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