why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
