Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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