at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
