Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
