I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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