i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize