I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
