hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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