Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
