the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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