Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
