I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
