Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize