so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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