I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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