is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
