you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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