she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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