im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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