Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
