if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
pray to the hookup gods
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
