giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
