i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize