Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize