can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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