and you said cock pushups were impossible
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This is my gift to your gina
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
